Things I Wish I Knew
I'm approaching my 30th year in this realm, and I'm sitting here reflecting. I've come to the conclusion that there are a few things I wish I would have known in my early 20's. In hindsight, I can certainly admit that I didn't struggle much thanks to my amazing parents & strict upbringing. I mean... I guess I should say that I didn't have room to explore much which resulted in a pretty safe experience as a young one. But still, there are three main tools that I could have benefitted from had I overstood them earlier. Maybe they'll resonate with you.
1. I DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT.
As i mentioned earlier I'm approaching 30, and I can honestly say that I'm FINALLY (YES, just now) gaining the confidence I need to succeed in life. As a young one I was into what seemed like 100 different activities. From basketball to ballet, theater & commercial acting, piano & even writing my own short stories and songs. I wanted so badly to win and be the best at everything. Looking back, I feel like this obsession held me back & had the exact opposite effect I was looking for on my life. Being into so many different activities made it so that I was never able to truly perfect any ONE thing. I mean, there are only a certain amount of hours in the day, and just one of those activities required what some would say: lifelong dedication and discipline. I think I also used the excuse of being into so many different activities as a crutch, too. Almost as if I knew (deep down) that being in 4 places at once was literally impossible and so I'd have to settle for being OK at many things, but never GREAT at any one thing. What’s that saying? About actually being afraid of the fact that one could be powerful beyond measure? YEAH, that.
2. WHAT I SAY TO MYSELF MATTERS!
This one's a biggy for me. I had been speaking to myself in such an ill manner for so long... I truly hadn't even noticed until I read a self help book about positive thoughts and conversations one should have with self. It's a trip because I had convinced myself that everyone spoke to themselves as harshly as I did. My favorite phrase as a teenager had to have been "I can't", I kid you not. You know, I haven't even quite figured out why I spoke to myself like that for so long. I had loving parents who never spoke to me in any foul form. Either way, I'm just glad I've improved in that department... I missed out on so many amazing opportunities because I had convinced myself that I wasn't worthy before I even fully had a foot in the door. Another thing I'll add is that being unkind to myself let my heart know that others didn't have to be kind to me either. I spent too many years taking whatever from whoever. So take my advice and watch how you speak to yourself.
3. DISCIPLINE OVER MOTIVATION.
I'll be honest... I only very recently learned the importance of true discipline. Of pushing forward even when I'm exhausted or unmotivated. I used to see myself as the type of person who could only work or create when "inspired". Not until I actually started working in the creative field did I learn that there will be days where I don't feel like doing a damn thing, but a deadline is still a deadline! Mastering discipline might be the most important thing any human can learn in this life. Even now, when I think about it deeply, if I had real discipline sooner, points 1 & 2 would be irrelevant. If I had discipline to just work at one activity and do my best to master said activity, I probably wouldn't have been striving for perfect in 6 different areas in my life. If I had mental discipline about how I should be communicating with myself, I wouldn't have abused myself for so long either.
I can't say that I wish I could go back in time to redo anything because I understand exactly why I faced the trials I did when I did. Timing in this life is truly divine. However, I do hope that this can help just one other person outside of myself.
Remember that "too late" doesn't exist. If you're still alive and kicking you still have opportunity to do better and be better. You deserve to give yourself the maximum amount of effort in this life.
Peace ~ Kae ♡
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